As part of social studies in first grade, we get to teach about roles and responsibilities, and rules are a big part of that unit. The assessment for that unit consists of questions about rules and why we have rules. First graders come up with the best answers--let me tell you! I have a fantastic parent who helped me give the assessment and wrote down verbatim what those kids told her. She even included their pauses and side comments. It made them so fun to read, because I can just hear my kids saying it!
Here are some of my favorite responses to the questions (Note- the number of the students changes from question to question and does not necessarily correlate with the same student.):
1- Why do we have rules?:
Student 1: "Because rules are good things and if you do something bad then it means you broke the rule."
Student 2: "To not be mean to other people and also you gotta learn good stuff because it makes us have a better world."
Student 3: "To make us safe and so we can listen and 'cause teachers want us to learn stuff. They are being serious so we have to listen so something bad does not happen."
Student 4: "So we can not get in trouble or be sad."
Student 5: "Because so you behave in the classroom."
2- What is a good rule to have at home?:
Student 1: "Be excited and do laundry and do dishes."
Student 2: "Watch T.V. everyday for 10 hours."
Student 3: "Get ready fast and to be nice."
Student 4: "Not to scream."
Student 5: "To follow directions and tell people what you are doing and also where you are going, 'cause that's a good one too!"
Student 6: "To not say bad words and not fight and not touch the stove when it's hot--actually just don't ever touch the stove."
Student 7: "That's a good question. We don't really have rules at our house. Actually you can only watch TV if you wake up really early 'cause if mom and dad are awake we can't watch a show."
Student 8: "Dancing."
3- What is a good rule to have at school?:
Student 1: "We get to have lunch for free."
Student 2: "Not to go home at recess or go out the door without asking and also don't yell bad words in the hallway."
4- What is a good rule to have in your neighborhood?:
Student 1: "No touching the trees and no ripping the trees."
Student 2: "We get to break trees and chop them down and also we get to do whatever we want on the playground."
Student 3: "Don't scream when everyone is trying to sleep."
Student 4: "To be safe--that's a really good one!"
Student 5: "No shooting guns at people."
Student 6: "Not to get a gun and kill people and also don't say bad words and kill people and don't do bad things or you will go to jail."
Student 7: "To grow our plants and have fruit."
Student 8: "Let's see..." *thinking for a while* "I bet most places don't have rules but in our neighborhood we can't have roosters. My grandpa had a rooster and it had to go away."
Student 9: "Don't try to make a fire or ruin your neighborhood."
Student 10: "No killing people. Also no disobeying the cops."
So clearly, there is much that we can learn from children when it comes to rules. But I don't think there's much more to be said. These answers speak for themselves!
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Out of the Mouth of Babes...
So there are definitely pros and cons to being a first grade teacher. You need to have lots of energy to manage 27, 6 and 7 year old children, let alone teach them everything they need to know for first grade. Oh, and don't even get me started on all of the social skills, conflict resolution, and problem solving skills that need to be taught. But, it's a very rewarding job, and I love it. One of the best things is getting notes from my kids that they make at home (or at school...) On Friday, I was the lucky recipient of not one, but three notes from home and an eraser.
One of my students who brought me a note from home will often find scraps of paper throughout the day at school and write, "I love you" on it and give it to me. There was one week that she did it almost every day. One day when she handed me the note, and I thanked her, she said, "Do I just make your day when I give you those notes?" Yes, yes you do! Daily validation from children. Dream job for sure.
Well, here is a picture of the note she gave to me on Friday. (Notice the drawn in handwriting lines, and the date written at the top.)
In case you can't read it, here's a typed out version of what she wrote, followed by a translated version. (Seriously, if there was a degree in translating the spelling and handwriting of young children I would be proficient at least).
Her version:
Octobr 2014
Daer Miss Hansen
are you isidid fo
HalaWeen? Have you
Ben to the moon?
bo you like
joolree? Wen
are you going
to bee mereed?
Wut are you going
to bee fo Halaween?
Translated version:
October 2014
Dear Miss Hansen,
Are you excited for Halloween? Have you been to the moon? Do you like jewelry? When are you going to be married? What are you going to be for Halloween?
Moral of the story: kids are great, and apparently it matters if you have been to the moon, and it's really important for them to know when I'm going to get married. (Believe me, if I knew the answer to that question, I would be a bonafide genius!)
One of my students who brought me a note from home will often find scraps of paper throughout the day at school and write, "I love you" on it and give it to me. There was one week that she did it almost every day. One day when she handed me the note, and I thanked her, she said, "Do I just make your day when I give you those notes?" Yes, yes you do! Daily validation from children. Dream job for sure.
Well, here is a picture of the note she gave to me on Friday. (Notice the drawn in handwriting lines, and the date written at the top.)
Her version:
Octobr 2014
Daer Miss Hansen
are you isidid fo
HalaWeen? Have you
Ben to the moon?
bo you like
joolree? Wen
are you going
to bee mereed?
Wut are you going
to bee fo Halaween?
Translated version:
October 2014
Dear Miss Hansen,
Are you excited for Halloween? Have you been to the moon? Do you like jewelry? When are you going to be married? What are you going to be for Halloween?
Moral of the story: kids are great, and apparently it matters if you have been to the moon, and it's really important for them to know when I'm going to get married. (Believe me, if I knew the answer to that question, I would be a bonafide genius!)
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Autotracities 2
As forewarned in my last post about cars, there will be many things I'm sure that will be blog worthy concerning me when it comes to cars. There are several stories that have come to mind for this blog post.
First, I think I should start off with this clip concerning blinker fluid. Now, most of you probably know that there is no such thing as blinker fluid, but I was not so fortunate. I have fallen for it twice now. Kind of ridiculous. But be warned, I shall not be fooled again!
Anyway, so I was driving my friend's car to the grocery store a few months ago, because she was just recovering from a surgery and wasn't quite up to driving yet, but wanted to go to the store. We ended up taking her car, and I was put in the driver's seat. Now, the last person who had driven the vehicle was a guy who had much longer legs than me. I was trying to find the little lever to pull to scoot the seat forward, but it was no where to be found. She informed me that the seats were automatic, and there were some button things that would move it forward on the side of the seat. Well, I was messing with the buttons trying to just get the seat to move forward, but I was successful in moving the seat up and down, and the back of the seat forward and back, but I could not for the life of me get the whole seat to move forward. Someone eventually had to move the seat forward for me. So I was already doing great. Well, when we got to the store I had another struggle trying to get the key out of the car. In my car, you just turn the key and pull it out, and you're good to go. Well, apparently in her car, you have to turn the key, and then push it in as you twist it the rest of the way before pulling it out. So, after trying to get the key out for about 30 seconds, someone had to help me with that too. Embarrassing. Okay, not really that embarrassing.
A few weeks later, I was getting home from school, and I had a big box of things to be working on. Now, it was a heavy box and was kind of ripping, so I didn't want to put it on the ground and try to pick it back up. So, I opened the passenger side door, which was holding the box, and slid the box out. Now, I leaned the box up against the car, and leaned on the box to hold it in place. Since my car doesn't have automatic locks, I had to manually lock my car. So I leaned forward to push the lock. As I was leaning back, I grabbed the door, and kind of slammed it shut so it would have enough momentum to close while I was still leaning up against the box. I guess I hadn't leaned far enough away from the door yet, because my ear was right in the line of fire and got the corner of my door. Ouch!
Anyway, those are the main car stories for now. I have a beauty of a car story that I am saving for a post a little further down the road (haha, no pun intended) so stay tuned!
First, I think I should start off with this clip concerning blinker fluid. Now, most of you probably know that there is no such thing as blinker fluid, but I was not so fortunate. I have fallen for it twice now. Kind of ridiculous. But be warned, I shall not be fooled again!
A few weeks later, I was getting home from school, and I had a big box of things to be working on. Now, it was a heavy box and was kind of ripping, so I didn't want to put it on the ground and try to pick it back up. So, I opened the passenger side door, which was holding the box, and slid the box out. Now, I leaned the box up against the car, and leaned on the box to hold it in place. Since my car doesn't have automatic locks, I had to manually lock my car. So I leaned forward to push the lock. As I was leaning back, I grabbed the door, and kind of slammed it shut so it would have enough momentum to close while I was still leaning up against the box. I guess I hadn't leaned far enough away from the door yet, because my ear was right in the line of fire and got the corner of my door. Ouch!
Anyway, those are the main car stories for now. I have a beauty of a car story that I am saving for a post a little further down the road (haha, no pun intended) so stay tuned!
Sunday, July 20, 2014
The Case of the Traveling Bobby Pin and Other Mediocre Tales
I have spent much time lately pondering on what to blog about. My life, it seems, has settled into much of a routine, with little variance and almost certainly no blog-worthy material. Perhaps the fact that I have been wanting to find something to blog about has made certain events as of late seem worthy of blogging, but as the title for this post implies...they are definitely mediocre. Please keep this in mind so that your disappointment after this read is minimal.
I am inclined to think that "The Case of the Traveling Bobby Pin" will be the highlight of this post, and as such, I will be saving it for last. So onto another mediocre tale in the meantime. Much of my time lately has been spent preparing and organizing things for my classroom this fall. The more I prepare, brainstorm, and create, the more excited I am becoming. As my school is in Eagle Mountain and I am in Provo, I have been waiting until I have enough materials and ideas to be able to spend a productive day in my classroom setting up rather than going for only an hour or two. Due to this, I have been storing my organized projects on my bed, and I sit on my floor as I work on more projects. Once a project is complete, I add it to the collection on my bed (See photo for better understanding of how the projects are stored).
Now, the funny thing about a bed, is that this is where normal people usually choose to sleep. However, my bed is so covered in projects that there is absolutely no room for me! It's highly possible that I am just lazy, so the effort required on a daily basis to take the projects off my bed in an orderly fashion and then put them back on my bed again just to sleep is just too much. But then again, transferring those projects to my floor and playing "don't step on any of tubs, displays, stuffed animals, prizes, or any other classroom paraphernalia" in the morning when I am super groggy and sliding off my bed to walk to the bathroom without my contacts in doesn't seem like the best idea. So, to resolve these issues and get some much needed sleep, I have been sleeping on my floor. I'm not going to lie--the first night the inner child in me was actually super excited. I set up my yoga mat in the narrow space between my bed and my desk, and then covered it with a blanket and snuggled up with my other three blankets. For one night, there was definitely a little bit of novelty and excitement there. However, last night was night three, and as the pain ensuing from sleeping on the floor increases, my enthusiasm decreases. I am very hopeful that I will be getting into my classroom this week, and by natural consequence, be returning to my increasingly comfortable bed to sleep!
My mind is drawing a blank for any other mediocre tales, so I will revert to "The Case of the Traveling Bobby Pin" as my next blogging material. Last night (Saturday) I went on a date with a guy in my ward, and he suggested that we go to the assisted living center that he works at and play them some music--me on the piano, and him on the violin. We were planning on playing some of the songs together, so we got together just over an hour before we had to leave to be there, to practice. I kid you not, I sat down on the chair at the piano and instantly felt something fall down the back of my shirt. One of my bobby pins had fallen out of my hair and slid conveniently to the back of my bra, where it decided to hang out for a while. Had I just been at home, no big deal, right? Just take my shirt off, grab the little bugger and stick it back where it belongs. As I was both on a date and in public, I didn't think that this would be the best course of action, so I decided to try to ignore it and just bide my time. Well, as we practiced, I had a lot more to think about than the bobby pin down my shirt, and I soon forgot about the whole incident. We practiced, performed, got shaved ice, and then sat and talked for a couple hours. By the time I got home, I had completely forgotten about the whole incident. Well, another guy in my ward invited me to go longboarding with him to get a shake, so, of course I did. Now, I probably spend as much time off the longboard as I do on the longboard because I can't get my balance quite right yet. So I was on and off the longboard, bending over to turn it in the direction I wanted it to go, etc. The ride was pretty uneventful. We rode to Sonic, got shakes, and rode back. No biggie. Well I was sitting on the couch afterward, and something felt really weird on the back of my thigh. As I went to rub the back of my leg, what should I feel but that pesky little bobby pin! Over the course of 5ish hours, it had fallen down my shirt, got caught in the back of my bra, and made it's way down my pants where it decided to rest again, about mid-thigh. And there it stayed until I changed into pajamas right before I went to bed. Ridiculous! I'm just grateful that I forgot that it had fallen out, and that I couldn't feel it down my shirt all night, because that would have been mighty uncomfortable!
To wrap this up, I will fall back upon the wise words of Dr. Seuss:
"Remember me and smile, for it is better to forget than remember me and cry."
I hope that this post managed to bring at least a small smile to your face! Farewell.
I am inclined to think that "The Case of the Traveling Bobby Pin" will be the highlight of this post, and as such, I will be saving it for last. So onto another mediocre tale in the meantime. Much of my time lately has been spent preparing and organizing things for my classroom this fall. The more I prepare, brainstorm, and create, the more excited I am becoming. As my school is in Eagle Mountain and I am in Provo, I have been waiting until I have enough materials and ideas to be able to spend a productive day in my classroom setting up rather than going for only an hour or two. Due to this, I have been storing my organized projects on my bed, and I sit on my floor as I work on more projects. Once a project is complete, I add it to the collection on my bed (See photo for better understanding of how the projects are stored).
Now, the funny thing about a bed, is that this is where normal people usually choose to sleep. However, my bed is so covered in projects that there is absolutely no room for me! It's highly possible that I am just lazy, so the effort required on a daily basis to take the projects off my bed in an orderly fashion and then put them back on my bed again just to sleep is just too much. But then again, transferring those projects to my floor and playing "don't step on any of tubs, displays, stuffed animals, prizes, or any other classroom paraphernalia" in the morning when I am super groggy and sliding off my bed to walk to the bathroom without my contacts in doesn't seem like the best idea. So, to resolve these issues and get some much needed sleep, I have been sleeping on my floor. I'm not going to lie--the first night the inner child in me was actually super excited. I set up my yoga mat in the narrow space between my bed and my desk, and then covered it with a blanket and snuggled up with my other three blankets. For one night, there was definitely a little bit of novelty and excitement there. However, last night was night three, and as the pain ensuing from sleeping on the floor increases, my enthusiasm decreases. I am very hopeful that I will be getting into my classroom this week, and by natural consequence, be returning to my increasingly comfortable bed to sleep!
My mind is drawing a blank for any other mediocre tales, so I will revert to "The Case of the Traveling Bobby Pin" as my next blogging material. Last night (Saturday) I went on a date with a guy in my ward, and he suggested that we go to the assisted living center that he works at and play them some music--me on the piano, and him on the violin. We were planning on playing some of the songs together, so we got together just over an hour before we had to leave to be there, to practice. I kid you not, I sat down on the chair at the piano and instantly felt something fall down the back of my shirt. One of my bobby pins had fallen out of my hair and slid conveniently to the back of my bra, where it decided to hang out for a while. Had I just been at home, no big deal, right? Just take my shirt off, grab the little bugger and stick it back where it belongs. As I was both on a date and in public, I didn't think that this would be the best course of action, so I decided to try to ignore it and just bide my time. Well, as we practiced, I had a lot more to think about than the bobby pin down my shirt, and I soon forgot about the whole incident. We practiced, performed, got shaved ice, and then sat and talked for a couple hours. By the time I got home, I had completely forgotten about the whole incident. Well, another guy in my ward invited me to go longboarding with him to get a shake, so, of course I did. Now, I probably spend as much time off the longboard as I do on the longboard because I can't get my balance quite right yet. So I was on and off the longboard, bending over to turn it in the direction I wanted it to go, etc. The ride was pretty uneventful. We rode to Sonic, got shakes, and rode back. No biggie. Well I was sitting on the couch afterward, and something felt really weird on the back of my thigh. As I went to rub the back of my leg, what should I feel but that pesky little bobby pin! Over the course of 5ish hours, it had fallen down my shirt, got caught in the back of my bra, and made it's way down my pants where it decided to rest again, about mid-thigh. And there it stayed until I changed into pajamas right before I went to bed. Ridiculous! I'm just grateful that I forgot that it had fallen out, and that I couldn't feel it down my shirt all night, because that would have been mighty uncomfortable!
To wrap this up, I will fall back upon the wise words of Dr. Seuss:
"Remember me and smile, for it is better to forget than remember me and cry."
I hope that this post managed to bring at least a small smile to your face! Farewell.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
What Should Have Been in Webster's and Wasn't
Balderdash- (noun) A most enjoyable game in which ridiculous sounding words are given even more ridiculous pseudo definitions. (Warning: excessive reading of definitions can cause one to fall into a giddy state, and incessant giggling may occur.)
I fear I have left my blog alone for much too long, so I was trying to find an old journal to look through to find some inspiration as to what to blog about, when I came upon some old Balderdash definitions.Okay, so Balderdash happens to be one of my favorite games, especially when I am feeling particularly creative. It is almost guaranteed to put me in a good mood, even if I'm not having a great day. I am going to share some of my definitions, along with the word I was writing them for. Please keep in mind however that these definitions, while highly applicable in every-day living, do not have actual words to keep them company, so please refrain from using the word they are paired with in the context of the definition I have bestowed upon them in the course of the game.
Alapa: A highly-developed laser lypo procedure used on camels who store fat instead of water in their humps.
Lant: The "wooden-leg of honor" given to the most deserving, one-legged soldier after a war lasting 4 years and 3 months fought in a foreign country.
Sinapize: Resisting the urge to sneeze when looking at the light by squeezing your left big toe and licking your lips.
Compsectable: When an inspector's monocle cracks at the opera when the soprano hits the highest note of the performance.
Tragopan: When a trapeze artist gives into the urge to do the splits on the high bar in the middle of a performance.
Quitch: A wrinkle in one's pants due to being too tight and sitting for too long in the same position.
Baleen: The unfortunate even in which one's tuba shifts their center of gravity giving them a hunched appearance.
Paraph: When a pig incurs intestinal difficulties due to a diet consisting of too many ripe fruits.
Gaberlunzie: When a pedal falls off a bicycle while a person is riding it down a hill.
Bedlamite: When a person collides with a tree trunk while attempting to imitate Tarzan.
Cheroot: A festival in which the participants see who can eat the largest number of pickles throughout the day.
Suffice it to say, that based on the fact that I have saved some of my past definitions, I really love this game! I have also had the incredibly strong desire to play this game for the past couple months, and sharing these definitions is the closest I can get to playing at the moment. I hope you enjoyed!
I fear I have left my blog alone for much too long, so I was trying to find an old journal to look through to find some inspiration as to what to blog about, when I came upon some old Balderdash definitions.Okay, so Balderdash happens to be one of my favorite games, especially when I am feeling particularly creative. It is almost guaranteed to put me in a good mood, even if I'm not having a great day. I am going to share some of my definitions, along with the word I was writing them for. Please keep in mind however that these definitions, while highly applicable in every-day living, do not have actual words to keep them company, so please refrain from using the word they are paired with in the context of the definition I have bestowed upon them in the course of the game.
Alapa: A highly-developed laser lypo procedure used on camels who store fat instead of water in their humps.
Lant: The "wooden-leg of honor" given to the most deserving, one-legged soldier after a war lasting 4 years and 3 months fought in a foreign country.
Sinapize: Resisting the urge to sneeze when looking at the light by squeezing your left big toe and licking your lips.
Compsectable: When an inspector's monocle cracks at the opera when the soprano hits the highest note of the performance.
Tragopan: When a trapeze artist gives into the urge to do the splits on the high bar in the middle of a performance.
Quitch: A wrinkle in one's pants due to being too tight and sitting for too long in the same position.
Baleen: The unfortunate even in which one's tuba shifts their center of gravity giving them a hunched appearance.
Paraph: When a pig incurs intestinal difficulties due to a diet consisting of too many ripe fruits.
Gaberlunzie: When a pedal falls off a bicycle while a person is riding it down a hill.
Bedlamite: When a person collides with a tree trunk while attempting to imitate Tarzan.
Cheroot: A festival in which the participants see who can eat the largest number of pickles throughout the day.
Suffice it to say, that based on the fact that I have saved some of my past definitions, I really love this game! I have also had the incredibly strong desire to play this game for the past couple months, and sharing these definitions is the closest I can get to playing at the moment. I hope you enjoyed!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Shhhh...It's a Secret!!
So, I have a confession to make. I used to be kind of afraid that someone was going to try to blackmail me at some point in my life with an embarrassing video or story. While I don't have any truly incriminating videos or stories to share, I do have some mildly humorous stories that I can tell so that they are not used as leverage against me at some point in my life.
1- I can't remember how old I was when this one happened, but I'm thinking I was close to 13. It was just a fairly typical Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church. When it came time for me to find something to wear, I asked my sister, Andrea, if I could wear one of her skirts. After scouring her dignified and fashionable wardrobe, I settled on a plain black skirt. Being the watchful sister she was, she made me wear slip under it. Now, she was playing a duet in church with another girl in our ward, so they were going early to practice. One of my best friends was the younger sister of this girl, so we decided to both go to church at the same time as them. My Dad drove us in our really old car, and Andrea had shotgun. Since we were picking up the two other girls, I sat in the middle seat in the back so that they wouldn't have to slide over. A short drive to the church later, we were all piling out of the car. As I was in the middle seat, I had to slide/scoot over to get out of the door. When I finally managed to get myself out of the car, something didn't quite feel right. In fact, I guess you could say things felt a little breezy. I looked down to find my skirt lying on the ground around my feet, much to my chagrin. I quickly grabbed the skirt and positioned it back where it should be. Did I mention that the skirt was a wee bit too big for me? Apparently the fact that it was a little too big combined with the sliding, and rubbing against the silky slip gave it enough reason to think it was okay to hang out with my feet in the middle of a church parking lot 15 minutes before the meeting was going to begin. Luckily, no one from my ward was arriving at that moment. Unfortunately, our meeting house is on the corner of an intersection, and there were cars stopped. To this day, I'm really not sure if my dad noticed, and just didn't say anything to save me embarrassment, or if he really didn't see a thing.
2- This next one happened 3-4 years ago. I was paying a routine visit to the eye doctor to get my prescription renewed, pick out glasses, etc. My vision is definitely not great, to put it mildly. However, when I left that day, I'm pretty sure the office assistant was more concerned about my hearing or psychological soundness than my vision. I had just finished all the pre-visit stuff, which is awful really..."Here, take out your contacts. Now lean forward at an awkward angle and keep your eyes open while I blow air into your eyes. Okay, now come stand in the hall and read the lowest line you can. Can you read the line above the giant 'E'? No? Okay, you can go look at glasses while you wait for the eye doctor." Seriously. So, I was "looking" at glasses the best that I could without my contacts in, and the office assistant came up behind me and asked a question. Now, what I heard was, "Are you wearing your contacts?" So I answered, "No, not right now." Simple question, simple answer. Andrea, who was also there, started laughing and said, "Yes, she is Amy." Now, I was really confused. Apparently the assistant had asked if I was Amy, to which I responded, "No, not right now...." "No, I'm not Amy right now. Check back in a few minutes to see who I am then."
3- Now, this last one happened just a couple weeks ago. Now, it's not quite as embarrassing as the others, but it does perhaps question whether or not I truly deserve the college degree I just earned. You know the part of graduation that takes forever while everyone is presented with their "diploma" and gets their picture taken like 12 times? Yeah, well I was near the end of the line, so I go to stand and wait for everyone to go before me. Now, the people taking pictures try to make it as easy as possible for you to do the right thing during the shot. They even have footprint outlines taped to the floor for you to stand on so you're in the right spot. Well, I went through the first one no problem. The next one was the one where you stand hold your diploma while standing next to the president of UVU and shake someone's hand who you don't really know and smile for the camera. Again, piece of cake. Well, somehow I missed the memo that they were going to be taking pictures when you got down from the stage as well. So I stood there kind of confused for a second, and then I held up my diploma cover and smiled. Guys. I held up my diploma cover with the wrong side facing the camera. They got a shot of the nice green back, rather than the inscribed "Utah Valley University" on the front. I promise I worked hard to get my degree, even if it seems difficult for me to hold my diploma cover the right way for a camera.
These are seriously the most embarrassing stories I've been able to come up with to share--at least that are appropriate for all audiences and don't incriminate anyone else. I mean, I've definitely had those moments where you think someone is waving to you and you wave back, only to realize they were waving to someone behind you, and you hastily start scratching your neck or combing your fingers through your hair to make it look like you weren't really waving. But the embarrassment with those one moments are a little shorter lived than for these stories I've just told.
Until I have another incriminating moment, goodbye blogging world!
1- I can't remember how old I was when this one happened, but I'm thinking I was close to 13. It was just a fairly typical Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church. When it came time for me to find something to wear, I asked my sister, Andrea, if I could wear one of her skirts. After scouring her dignified and fashionable wardrobe, I settled on a plain black skirt. Being the watchful sister she was, she made me wear slip under it. Now, she was playing a duet in church with another girl in our ward, so they were going early to practice. One of my best friends was the younger sister of this girl, so we decided to both go to church at the same time as them. My Dad drove us in our really old car, and Andrea had shotgun. Since we were picking up the two other girls, I sat in the middle seat in the back so that they wouldn't have to slide over. A short drive to the church later, we were all piling out of the car. As I was in the middle seat, I had to slide/scoot over to get out of the door. When I finally managed to get myself out of the car, something didn't quite feel right. In fact, I guess you could say things felt a little breezy. I looked down to find my skirt lying on the ground around my feet, much to my chagrin. I quickly grabbed the skirt and positioned it back where it should be. Did I mention that the skirt was a wee bit too big for me? Apparently the fact that it was a little too big combined with the sliding, and rubbing against the silky slip gave it enough reason to think it was okay to hang out with my feet in the middle of a church parking lot 15 minutes before the meeting was going to begin. Luckily, no one from my ward was arriving at that moment. Unfortunately, our meeting house is on the corner of an intersection, and there were cars stopped. To this day, I'm really not sure if my dad noticed, and just didn't say anything to save me embarrassment, or if he really didn't see a thing.
2- This next one happened 3-4 years ago. I was paying a routine visit to the eye doctor to get my prescription renewed, pick out glasses, etc. My vision is definitely not great, to put it mildly. However, when I left that day, I'm pretty sure the office assistant was more concerned about my hearing or psychological soundness than my vision. I had just finished all the pre-visit stuff, which is awful really..."Here, take out your contacts. Now lean forward at an awkward angle and keep your eyes open while I blow air into your eyes. Okay, now come stand in the hall and read the lowest line you can. Can you read the line above the giant 'E'? No? Okay, you can go look at glasses while you wait for the eye doctor." Seriously. So, I was "looking" at glasses the best that I could without my contacts in, and the office assistant came up behind me and asked a question. Now, what I heard was, "Are you wearing your contacts?" So I answered, "No, not right now." Simple question, simple answer. Andrea, who was also there, started laughing and said, "Yes, she is Amy." Now, I was really confused. Apparently the assistant had asked if I was Amy, to which I responded, "No, not right now...." "No, I'm not Amy right now. Check back in a few minutes to see who I am then."
3- Now, this last one happened just a couple weeks ago. Now, it's not quite as embarrassing as the others, but it does perhaps question whether or not I truly deserve the college degree I just earned. You know the part of graduation that takes forever while everyone is presented with their "diploma" and gets their picture taken like 12 times? Yeah, well I was near the end of the line, so I go to stand and wait for everyone to go before me. Now, the people taking pictures try to make it as easy as possible for you to do the right thing during the shot. They even have footprint outlines taped to the floor for you to stand on so you're in the right spot. Well, I went through the first one no problem. The next one was the one where you stand hold your diploma while standing next to the president of UVU and shake someone's hand who you don't really know and smile for the camera. Again, piece of cake. Well, somehow I missed the memo that they were going to be taking pictures when you got down from the stage as well. So I stood there kind of confused for a second, and then I held up my diploma cover and smiled. Guys. I held up my diploma cover with the wrong side facing the camera. They got a shot of the nice green back, rather than the inscribed "Utah Valley University" on the front. I promise I worked hard to get my degree, even if it seems difficult for me to hold my diploma cover the right way for a camera.
These are seriously the most embarrassing stories I've been able to come up with to share--at least that are appropriate for all audiences and don't incriminate anyone else. I mean, I've definitely had those moments where you think someone is waving to you and you wave back, only to realize they were waving to someone behind you, and you hastily start scratching your neck or combing your fingers through your hair to make it look like you weren't really waving. But the embarrassment with those one moments are a little shorter lived than for these stories I've just told.
Until I have another incriminating moment, goodbye blogging world!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Service Projects are not for the Weak
Given some of the interesting experiences I've blogged about in my latest posts as well as recent events, I was having a conversation similar to the following with my sister the other day:
Me: "Do things like this happen to most people, or am I just lucky?"
Amanda: "I'm pretty sure you're just lucky..."
With my last "lucky" experience happening on Saturday, it would clearly be too much to ask to go more than 2 days without having another one. For the purposes of this story, I am going to try to outline only the most interesting or obscure parts. Just know that much more happened through the course of the night.
Last night for family home evening (fhe) we were doing a ward service project at one of the bishopric member's homes. Now, I have the best bishopric in the world, so I was very excited to help out. I went to the clubhouse to meet with everyone and 5-10 minutes later we were on our way. To protect the identity of the individuals in this story, the cast will go as follows:
Girl 1: The only other girl who showed up for the service project. Also dating guy 1.
Guy 1: Dating girl 1.
Guy 2: A guy in my ward who I know only the littlest bit.
Guy 3: The guy who is in a different ward and accidentally ended up with our ward for the night.
Guy 4: The guy in my ward who only has a small role.
Me: Well, let's hope you can figure this one out.
*In the car on the way to the service project. I'm in the back on the drivers side. Girl 1 is driving, guy 1 is in the passenger seat. Guy 3 is next to me in the middle. Guy 2 is in the back passenger side.*
So, you know how when you drive sometimes when you turn you kinda slide a little into the person next to you? Yeah, I was holding on to the handle on my side of the car so I wouldn't slide into the guy next to me. Well, he was in the middle and didn't quite have that luxury. As we went around the first curve that caused him to slide into me a little bit, he began apologizing. I mean I can't really get mad, because it's not exactly his fault.
Guy 3: "I'm sorry! I'm not trying to....oh what's the word? Tenderize you? I'm not trying to tenderize you."
Me: (Trying really hard not to laugh): "You're fine."
Girl 1: Bursts out laughing, causing me to have an even harder time not laughing.
I do have to say that's the first time I've ever had someone trying not to tenderize me. Also during the drive Guy 2 and Guy 3 were talking a lot about girls, and how they when they started dating someone they wanted to be at a point in their lives where they were comfortable expressing their emotions. Guy 3 was also talking about how he was scared of girls, but one of his old co-workers told him that he was a natural flirt. For the record, I was not taking part in this discussion, but was just an innocent bystander.
We eventually arrived at our destination, and received instructions on what to do. Girl 1 and I made a great team and did all that we could. It got to the point where there wasn't enough for everyone to do, so most of us were talking and waiting to see if there was anything else that we could do to help. Guy 3 took this opportunity to start talking to me.
Guy 3: "So where are you from?"
Me : "West Jordan, originally."
Guy 3: "Oh, is there a high school there?"
Me: "Yeah, there are a couple."
Guy 3: "Do they have a cross country team?"
Me: "I think so."
Guy 3: "Were they 4-A?"
Me: "I have no idea."
Guy 3: "Oh. What year did you graduate."
Me: "2011."
Guy 3: "Oh, I thought you were a lot younger than me. I graduated that year too. I was a year older than most people in my grade though."
The conversation went on about high school for a little bit. It took a turn to college for a little bit, but then wrapped back around to high school.
Guy 3: "So did you do any sports?"
Me: "Nope."
Guy 3: "Oh, you seem like you would've been athletic. It seems like you would have done sprinting or something."
After a few more minutes of talking to him, Guy 4 jumped in to my rescue and started talking to me, but Guy 3 kept throwing his 2-cents in. Then Girl 1 stole my purse, so we went to her car to go put it away.
The pizza arrived, and so we went in and washed up and had some pizza. While eating, several interesting conversations took place, a few of which I will outline.
Guy 3: "Is your shirt pink or salmon colored?"
Me: "Pink."
Guy 3: "Oh, well then I like pink."
Another conversation--about girls and dating, of course:
Guy 1: "Well, girl 1 is taken."
Girl 1: "You never know, Amy could be dating too."
Guy 1: "That's true. Amy, are you dating someone? Or do you prefer to keep that private?"
Me: (Seeing safety as well as not wanting to lie) "Uh, I'd prefer to keep that part of my life on the DL."
Guy 1: "I completely understand that."
We watched a little bit of Dancing with the Stars, and then took off. Guy 1 was so kind as to offer me the front seat so that I wouldn't be "tenderized" again... As we are driving the guys are conversing in the back seat, and this is the part of the conversation that I heard:
Guy 1: "Amy's a stick."
Guy 3: "No, I would say she's average."
Guy 1: "She's a beautiful young lady."
Guy 2: "All girls are beautiful."
Guy 1: "I don't think all girls are beautiful."
Guy 3: "How would Heavenly Father feel about you saying that about some of his daughters?"
I decided I needed to jump in and intervene in this conversation, so I did.
Me: "So, here's the things. All guys and girls are attracted to different types of people, which is wonderful because it makes this world work."
It distracted them for a little bit, but it eventually wrapped back around.
Guy 1: "I'd give Amy a 40."
Guy 3: "I'd give her 100."
Guy 1: "I'm going off of the score from Dancing with the Stars, so she has the highest score."
Guy 3: "I'd give her 100 percent."
Guy 1: "It's the same thing..."
Just about now, there was a spark of inspiration, and we turned the radio up and that was a beautiful decision.
As we are driving on the freeway, Girl 1 notices that she was speeding, so she slows down, but still got pulled over. So, we got to sit tight in the shoulder for a little bit. When the officer brought her stuff back, he said something about how she was probably distracted by the guys talking in the back seat. One of them said something about them being too attractive, and Guy 3 decided to throw in his opinion that the girls were the attractive ones in the car.
As we are finally approaching the apartment complex, I again overhear part of a conversation:
Guy 1: (talking about me) "But you don't know if she's dating anyone. She decided not to tell us."
Guy 2: "Well if she isn't, I wouldn't mind being on her radar."
Guy 3: "I wouldn't mind being on her radar either."
Just then, we pulled up right outside the sidewalk where I was being dropped off, so I was spared any comments I might have had to say. I hopped out of the car and booked it to my apartment. I found out later that Guy 2 and Guy 3 kept talking about me after I left too.
You know that youtube video, "David After the Dentist?" Two quotes from that movie were circulating throughout my thoughts the entire night, the first being, "Is this real life?" The second was, "Is this going to be forever?" Never has my life been under the microscope in front of me for so much of an evening. Let's just say I'm hoping that it won't happen again any time soon. I've had my fill of being "lucky" for a while.
Me: "Do things like this happen to most people, or am I just lucky?"
Amanda: "I'm pretty sure you're just lucky..."
With my last "lucky" experience happening on Saturday, it would clearly be too much to ask to go more than 2 days without having another one. For the purposes of this story, I am going to try to outline only the most interesting or obscure parts. Just know that much more happened through the course of the night.
Last night for family home evening (fhe) we were doing a ward service project at one of the bishopric member's homes. Now, I have the best bishopric in the world, so I was very excited to help out. I went to the clubhouse to meet with everyone and 5-10 minutes later we were on our way. To protect the identity of the individuals in this story, the cast will go as follows:
Girl 1: The only other girl who showed up for the service project. Also dating guy 1.
Guy 1: Dating girl 1.
Guy 2: A guy in my ward who I know only the littlest bit.
Guy 3: The guy who is in a different ward and accidentally ended up with our ward for the night.
Guy 4: The guy in my ward who only has a small role.
Me: Well, let's hope you can figure this one out.
*In the car on the way to the service project. I'm in the back on the drivers side. Girl 1 is driving, guy 1 is in the passenger seat. Guy 3 is next to me in the middle. Guy 2 is in the back passenger side.*
So, you know how when you drive sometimes when you turn you kinda slide a little into the person next to you? Yeah, I was holding on to the handle on my side of the car so I wouldn't slide into the guy next to me. Well, he was in the middle and didn't quite have that luxury. As we went around the first curve that caused him to slide into me a little bit, he began apologizing. I mean I can't really get mad, because it's not exactly his fault.
Guy 3: "I'm sorry! I'm not trying to....oh what's the word? Tenderize you? I'm not trying to tenderize you."
Me: (Trying really hard not to laugh): "You're fine."
Girl 1: Bursts out laughing, causing me to have an even harder time not laughing.
I do have to say that's the first time I've ever had someone trying not to tenderize me. Also during the drive Guy 2 and Guy 3 were talking a lot about girls, and how they when they started dating someone they wanted to be at a point in their lives where they were comfortable expressing their emotions. Guy 3 was also talking about how he was scared of girls, but one of his old co-workers told him that he was a natural flirt. For the record, I was not taking part in this discussion, but was just an innocent bystander.
We eventually arrived at our destination, and received instructions on what to do. Girl 1 and I made a great team and did all that we could. It got to the point where there wasn't enough for everyone to do, so most of us were talking and waiting to see if there was anything else that we could do to help. Guy 3 took this opportunity to start talking to me.
Guy 3: "So where are you from?"
Me : "West Jordan, originally."
Guy 3: "Oh, is there a high school there?"
Me: "Yeah, there are a couple."
Guy 3: "Do they have a cross country team?"
Me: "I think so."
Guy 3: "Were they 4-A?"
Me: "I have no idea."
Guy 3: "Oh. What year did you graduate."
Me: "2011."
Guy 3: "Oh, I thought you were a lot younger than me. I graduated that year too. I was a year older than most people in my grade though."
The conversation went on about high school for a little bit. It took a turn to college for a little bit, but then wrapped back around to high school.
Guy 3: "So did you do any sports?"
Me: "Nope."
Guy 3: "Oh, you seem like you would've been athletic. It seems like you would have done sprinting or something."
After a few more minutes of talking to him, Guy 4 jumped in to my rescue and started talking to me, but Guy 3 kept throwing his 2-cents in. Then Girl 1 stole my purse, so we went to her car to go put it away.
The pizza arrived, and so we went in and washed up and had some pizza. While eating, several interesting conversations took place, a few of which I will outline.
Guy 3: "Is your shirt pink or salmon colored?"
Me: "Pink."
Guy 3: "Oh, well then I like pink."
Another conversation--about girls and dating, of course:
Guy 1: "Well, girl 1 is taken."
Girl 1: "You never know, Amy could be dating too."
Guy 1: "That's true. Amy, are you dating someone? Or do you prefer to keep that private?"
Me: (Seeing safety as well as not wanting to lie) "Uh, I'd prefer to keep that part of my life on the DL."
Guy 1: "I completely understand that."
We watched a little bit of Dancing with the Stars, and then took off. Guy 1 was so kind as to offer me the front seat so that I wouldn't be "tenderized" again... As we are driving the guys are conversing in the back seat, and this is the part of the conversation that I heard:
Guy 1: "Amy's a stick."
Guy 3: "No, I would say she's average."
Guy 1: "She's a beautiful young lady."
Guy 2: "All girls are beautiful."
Guy 1: "I don't think all girls are beautiful."
Guy 3: "How would Heavenly Father feel about you saying that about some of his daughters?"
I decided I needed to jump in and intervene in this conversation, so I did.
Me: "So, here's the things. All guys and girls are attracted to different types of people, which is wonderful because it makes this world work."
It distracted them for a little bit, but it eventually wrapped back around.
Guy 1: "I'd give Amy a 40."
Guy 3: "I'd give her 100."
Guy 1: "I'm going off of the score from Dancing with the Stars, so she has the highest score."
Guy 3: "I'd give her 100 percent."
Guy 1: "It's the same thing..."
Just about now, there was a spark of inspiration, and we turned the radio up and that was a beautiful decision.
As we are driving on the freeway, Girl 1 notices that she was speeding, so she slows down, but still got pulled over. So, we got to sit tight in the shoulder for a little bit. When the officer brought her stuff back, he said something about how she was probably distracted by the guys talking in the back seat. One of them said something about them being too attractive, and Guy 3 decided to throw in his opinion that the girls were the attractive ones in the car.
As we are finally approaching the apartment complex, I again overhear part of a conversation:
Guy 1: (talking about me) "But you don't know if she's dating anyone. She decided not to tell us."
Guy 2: "Well if she isn't, I wouldn't mind being on her radar."
Guy 3: "I wouldn't mind being on her radar either."
Just then, we pulled up right outside the sidewalk where I was being dropped off, so I was spared any comments I might have had to say. I hopped out of the car and booked it to my apartment. I found out later that Guy 2 and Guy 3 kept talking about me after I left too.
You know that youtube video, "David After the Dentist?" Two quotes from that movie were circulating throughout my thoughts the entire night, the first being, "Is this real life?" The second was, "Is this going to be forever?" Never has my life been under the microscope in front of me for so much of an evening. Let's just say I'm hoping that it won't happen again any time soon. I've had my fill of being "lucky" for a while.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Of Life's Embarrassing Moments...
It was brought to my attention after my last blog post that I left out a very funny dating story of mine. While this one was not as awkward as the others, it is probably worth mentioning. But, if I'm going to tell a story that is potentially embarrassing to the other party involved, I feel it is only fair that I divulge one of my embarrassing date moments first.
After I changed clothes, we played some games and eventually got on Pinterest. I'm not at liberty to say which one of us had the Pinterest account, because I was sworn to secrecy. ;) While talking, he told me about how he once had a roommate who was dating this girl, and they both wanted him (my date) to go on a date with her roommate. He didn't want to, but felt pressured. So begrudgingly he set up a date with her. Well, the day of the date came along, and he really didn't want to go, so he called and cancelled because he was "sick." Well, his roommate found out and made him reschedule. This time, when the day of the date came around, he really wasn't feeling well, but he didn't think he should cancel again. They were just going to watch a movie, and he was hoping to just make it through the movie. The movie hadn't even started before he started to feel extremely sick. He stood up, and said he just needed to go walk around outside for a second. Before he could make it outside, he threw-up right in her entry way. So...they didn't finish that date, or go on another one for that matter. Our date came to an end for that night, but there were others to follow, regardless of me making a fool of myself.
It was a Saturday night, I believe, and I was going on a date with this guy who I thought was really cute and kind of liked. He was taking me laser tagging, which I had never done before. Anyone who knows me knows that I am usually up for anything so long as I feel I'm not going to get seriously injured in the process, so laser tagging it was. We went and played a couple of games, and it was a lot of fun! When we came outside after, it was pouring rain. So, we ran to his car and quickly got in. We decided to go back to my apartment to hang out and play some games. It was still raining really hard when we made it to my apartment. Now, there is this little grassy hill that I would always walk over to get to my apartment, rather than following the sidewalk around--which was like and extra 15 feet. My date went over the hill first a slipped just a tiny bit, and he warned me that it was slippery. So, I was treading very carefully as I tried to sneak over the hill. But, it was to no avail, because I slipped...and fell. Suffice it to say that I left quite the impression on the hill, as well as getting several layers of clothing muddy and wet. It was kind of embarrassing, but it was also funny!
After I changed clothes, we played some games and eventually got on Pinterest. I'm not at liberty to say which one of us had the Pinterest account, because I was sworn to secrecy. ;) While talking, he told me about how he once had a roommate who was dating this girl, and they both wanted him (my date) to go on a date with her roommate. He didn't want to, but felt pressured. So begrudgingly he set up a date with her. Well, the day of the date came along, and he really didn't want to go, so he called and cancelled because he was "sick." Well, his roommate found out and made him reschedule. This time, when the day of the date came around, he really wasn't feeling well, but he didn't think he should cancel again. They were just going to watch a movie, and he was hoping to just make it through the movie. The movie hadn't even started before he started to feel extremely sick. He stood up, and said he just needed to go walk around outside for a second. Before he could make it outside, he threw-up right in her entry way. So...they didn't finish that date, or go on another one for that matter. Our date came to an end for that night, but there were others to follow, regardless of me making a fool of myself.
On one of these other dates, he picked me up and we went over to the Riverwoods to have dinner and then look at the gingerbread houses that the various stores had designed. We went to Macaroni Grill for dinner, which was really good. Then we went over to check out the gingerbread houses, which were fun to look at, but you could only look at them for so long. As we left the gingerbread house display, we started to just walk around the area. It was a nice night for December, and there were streams of lights up. I thought we might walk around and talk for a little bit. All of the sudden, my date thought we should go, so we started walking back to his car. When we were just a few feet away from his car, he kind of pushed me to the side and turned away just as he threw-up all over the parking lot. Poor guy! If it wasn't embarrassing enough to throw up on one date, he had thrown up on two! I didn't quite know what to say, but I did think the whole thing was kind of funny. (Even if a little throw-up had gotten on my shoe and pant-leg). The ride back to his apartment was very quiet. I'm sure he didn't know what to say because he was kind of embarrassed, and I couldn't say anything because I knew if I tried I was going to burst out laughing, and I didn't want to make him feel worse. He told me that earlier in the day he hadn't been feeling too great, but he didn't want to cancel on me, especially because of the story he had told me about cancelling on the other girl. After contemplating playing games for a while that night, we decided to call it quits just to be safe. (And just for the record, we did go on additional dates after that incident, just like we had after I slipped on the hill).
As much fun as dating can be, I guess it's also a little unpredictable! That's okay though, because I like living on the wild side.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
What Did You Say???
As graduation approaches, I feel that it is appropriate to reflect on the past (almost) 3 years that I've spent in Provo and some of the crazy things that have happened. To kick it off, I have dedicated this blog post to some of the crazy experiences I have had involving guys. Buckle-up, 'cause it's gonna be a wild ride!
How NOT to pick up a girl (I assure you that all of these stories are true):
1- At an institute dance in the first month that I had been moved out, this guy started dancing with me and my friends. Not too concerning yet, right? Well he asked me to dance one of the last slow songs with him, so I said yes. As we starting talking, I learned that he had only been in the U.S. for about 6 weeks, before which he was home in Africa. Toward the beginning of the dance he looked at me and said, "You are so beautiful." in his accented English. I didn't really know how to respond, so I just said thank you and was planning on moving on. Apparently he had other plans, because he just kept staring at me saying things like, "You are just so beautiful. Your eyes, they're blue, so beautiful." Luckily, he asked me to tell him about myself, so I decided to go with the pretty safe answer about family and school. He then proceeded to tell me, "When you tell me about yourself you forget to tell me you're beautiful." Again, I experienced that feeling of having no idea how to respond to that. Luckily the song was almost over, but he still managed to ask me if he could write me when he got home. (I still have no idea if he meant write me from home in Africa, or text me from home in Orem...). The song ended, though, and he was distracted, although not so distracted that it stopped him from grabbing my hand and walking with me to the edge of the gym where my shoes were.
2- The Bunny story. Probably my absolute favorite. On my Tuesday/Thursday schedule, I had just over an hour between two of my classes that I usually used to study. I found this quiet study area right outside of my next class complete with tables that worked great. One day while I was studying, this guy (kinda grungy-looking, I'm guessing mid-to-late thirties) started talking to me. He just kind of stood there, and then our conversation went as follows:
Him: "What are you studying?"
Me: "I'm studying for my psychology class right now."
Him: "Oh, I'm a psychology major."
Me: "Oh.."
Him: (He said something about a movie and Colorado, I still have no idea what, and then walked away)
The next time I went to go and study there he took a seat diagonally to me at the table, after which this is the conversation we had:
Him: "What are you studying?"
Me: "I'm studying for my psychology class right now."
Him: "Oh, I'm a psychology major."
Me: "Oh.."
Him: (Says something about a movie and Colorado. Again, I have no idea what.)
Then we both studied in silence.
The next (and might I add last) time I studied there he came and sat right across from me and promptly started this conversation:
Him: "I breed bunnies. Have you ever bred bunnies?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Oh, well it's really not hard. You just put them all in the cage and they do the rest."
Me: *silence, embarrassment that everyone in the study area is listening to our conversation*
Him: "I was really worried about one of my females, because she just wasn't producing. But then I realized...she's a male!"
Me: *starting to put my stuff away hoping for a quick getaway*
Him: "Isn't it early for your class to start?"
Me: *mortified that he knows my schedule* "I'm just packing up now."
Him: "Okay."
I realized that his class started the same time as mine and was right next door, but it still startled me enough that I never studied there again.
3- The hair-flipper dude. As I was riding the bus home from my last nutrition class, this guy (I was assuming it was a guy, but it took me about half of the bus ride to be sure of my answer) came and sat next to me even though there were lots of empty spots. He was breaking the unspoken bus-riding rule 101. NEVER sit by anyone if there are empty seats available elsewhere where you won't be sitting next to anyone. So already I thought it was kinda weird. Then he flips his hair out of his face and just stares at me. At this point, I was thinking I must know him or something, because he was staring me down. So I turn to look, and I definitely don't know him, and he's just grinning away. Then he proceeds to take my bus pass/UVU ID out of my hand and looks at it. He says, "Nice." and then hands it back. Needless to say I ignored him for the rest of the ride, and he stared at me for the rest of the ride.
4- Toilet flush cycle guy. So, this guy sat next to me on the bus on the way home from UVU one day. He was friendly enough. As we conversed, he asked me if I had seen the new science building. I told him that I had walked through it a couple of times. He asked if I had seen one of the bathrooms in there. I told him I hadn't, to which he responded, "Oh. They're pretty cool. They have 2 flush cycles. One for if you go number one, one for if, you know...you go number two." I think he realized half-way through that he was discussing the flushing cycles of a toilet with a girl he didn't really know on public transportation where everyone was listening to what he was saying.
5- The "I really wanted to watch you eat fried chicken" guy. So this guy in my ward was making it quite obvious that he was interested in me. He was on the same committee as me, which didn't help matters at all. The day I realized my suspicions were indeed true unfolded as follows: My ward was having break the fast, and the ward prayer committee was going to meet right after to plan ward prayer for later that evening. As we were throwing our garbage away, this guy started to pretend that the garbage can was cookie monster, and pushed the foot-pedal to make the lid open and close as he talked. I saw him look for my reaction. Then we went to our meeting and he laughed really hard at everything I said, whether it was funny or not.
A few days later, I guess he told a girl in my ward that he really wanted to go out with me, but that I wouldn't go out with him. (Need I add that he hadn't ever asked me out on a date?) Well, he got around to asking me on a date. I used every excuse I could think of: homework, finals, studying, cleaning checks, etc. but he wouldn't take no for an answer. So, it was decided that he would come help me clean for white gloves. We decided that he would come over at noon. I got home a little before noon and quickly ate a yogurt so I could say I had eaten if the subject arose. A little after 12:00, he called me and asked if I was home. I said I was, and he wanted to know why I hadn't called him when I got home. I told him that we were just planning on starting at noon, so I didn't feel the need to call. He then asked me if I had eaten, and I told him I had. He was disappointed because he was hoping to bring some lunch over from his work (KFC). I told him that I wasn't hungry. So he tried the guilt-trip approach next, with the whole "I guess I'm just going to have to eat all of it then..." Which was just fine with me. He wasn't very pleased, so he decided that he would bring it over to eat. I think he was hoping that by bringing the chicken over I would be tempted above what I was able, and I would succumb to his requests that I have lunch with him. He brought the chicken over and leaned against the counter top, letting his stomach rest comfortably on the top of the counter. He then noisily devoured his chicken, and placed the bones in with the rest of the uneaten chicken. If I ever was considering having a piece before then, I definitely wasn't considering it then. He decided to try one more time to get me to eat it saying, "I was really looking forward to watching you eat the chicken." Um...can you say creepy?
After that whole incident, we started cleaning. I was washing dishes and clearing out the sink, and he decided to clean the oven/stove which conveniently was directly across from the sink in a some-what narrow space. I'm pretty sure his intent was to get close to me, which wasn't okay, so I switched to wall-washing and let him finish the stove/oven. As we were cleaning, he found an empty make-up kit box, and asked if it was mine. I told him that it wasn't, and he said he didn't think it was because I didn't wear a lot of make-up. He said that that was one of the things he noticed about me at church. After that I started wearing more make-up to church.
Just when I thought our cleaning, and so our date, was coming to a close, he wanted to take me to get a Jamba Juice after which he said he would take me back home. A Jamba Juice did sound really nice--especially considering that it would be free--and I thought it was probably the quickest route to ending the date anyway, so I said yes. After we got our Jamba, instead of taking me home, he took me to the mall so we could "walk around while we had our Jamba." On our way to the mall, he told me that any time I wanted to go out to eat or if there was a nice restaurant I wanted to try, to just give him a call and he would be happy to take me. As we started walking around the mall, he explained to me how to win monopoly based on his own statistical evidence he had accumulated. (Since I play monopoly SO much....).
We left the mall, and I thought my freedom was finally in sight, but it was not to be. He then took me to the dollar theater where we played air hockey. He started to get a little flustered that I was winning at first, and told me that he wasn't going to go easy on me, because it was a big deal if I beat him. He said (to my horror) he would be able to tell everyone that I beat him at air hockey and he wasn't even going easy on me. Luckily, he won, so I didn't have to suffer such embarrassment.
The homeward stretch was finally coming into view as we left air hockey and he was finally taking me home. But I was not released until he had a sufficient amount of time to tell me of his plans for his future--wife, kids, better job--the works. Then he told me that he really wanted to take me on a date to KFC sometime where we could go back into the kitchen, because he worked there, and make some chicken sandwiches for ourselves. You know, I'm pretty open to new date ideas, but I have to draw the line somewhere, and it was definitely drawn there.
From start to finish the date was about 5 hours, which was more than enough to last me a lifetime. After a few weeks of not making eye contact at church, and ignoring texts and phone calls, I was left in peace.
Most of those occurred in the first year I was at school. Since then, the experiences I have had with boys are what you might classify as a little more "normal." Here's to hoping that normal they stay!
How NOT to pick up a girl (I assure you that all of these stories are true):
1- At an institute dance in the first month that I had been moved out, this guy started dancing with me and my friends. Not too concerning yet, right? Well he asked me to dance one of the last slow songs with him, so I said yes. As we starting talking, I learned that he had only been in the U.S. for about 6 weeks, before which he was home in Africa. Toward the beginning of the dance he looked at me and said, "You are so beautiful." in his accented English. I didn't really know how to respond, so I just said thank you and was planning on moving on. Apparently he had other plans, because he just kept staring at me saying things like, "You are just so beautiful. Your eyes, they're blue, so beautiful." Luckily, he asked me to tell him about myself, so I decided to go with the pretty safe answer about family and school. He then proceeded to tell me, "When you tell me about yourself you forget to tell me you're beautiful." Again, I experienced that feeling of having no idea how to respond to that. Luckily the song was almost over, but he still managed to ask me if he could write me when he got home. (I still have no idea if he meant write me from home in Africa, or text me from home in Orem...). The song ended, though, and he was distracted, although not so distracted that it stopped him from grabbing my hand and walking with me to the edge of the gym where my shoes were.
2- The Bunny story. Probably my absolute favorite. On my Tuesday/Thursday schedule, I had just over an hour between two of my classes that I usually used to study. I found this quiet study area right outside of my next class complete with tables that worked great. One day while I was studying, this guy (kinda grungy-looking, I'm guessing mid-to-late thirties) started talking to me. He just kind of stood there, and then our conversation went as follows:
Him: "What are you studying?"
Me: "I'm studying for my psychology class right now."
Him: "Oh, I'm a psychology major."
Me: "Oh.."
Him: (He said something about a movie and Colorado, I still have no idea what, and then walked away)
The next time I went to go and study there he took a seat diagonally to me at the table, after which this is the conversation we had:
Him: "What are you studying?"
Me: "I'm studying for my psychology class right now."
Him: "Oh, I'm a psychology major."
Me: "Oh.."
Him: (Says something about a movie and Colorado. Again, I have no idea what.)
Then we both studied in silence.
The next (and might I add last) time I studied there he came and sat right across from me and promptly started this conversation:
Him: "I breed bunnies. Have you ever bred bunnies?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Oh, well it's really not hard. You just put them all in the cage and they do the rest."
Me: *silence, embarrassment that everyone in the study area is listening to our conversation*
Him: "I was really worried about one of my females, because she just wasn't producing. But then I realized...she's a male!"
Me: *starting to put my stuff away hoping for a quick getaway*
Him: "Isn't it early for your class to start?"
Me: *mortified that he knows my schedule* "I'm just packing up now."
Him: "Okay."
I realized that his class started the same time as mine and was right next door, but it still startled me enough that I never studied there again.
3- The hair-flipper dude. As I was riding the bus home from my last nutrition class, this guy (I was assuming it was a guy, but it took me about half of the bus ride to be sure of my answer) came and sat next to me even though there were lots of empty spots. He was breaking the unspoken bus-riding rule 101. NEVER sit by anyone if there are empty seats available elsewhere where you won't be sitting next to anyone. So already I thought it was kinda weird. Then he flips his hair out of his face and just stares at me. At this point, I was thinking I must know him or something, because he was staring me down. So I turn to look, and I definitely don't know him, and he's just grinning away. Then he proceeds to take my bus pass/UVU ID out of my hand and looks at it. He says, "Nice." and then hands it back. Needless to say I ignored him for the rest of the ride, and he stared at me for the rest of the ride.
4- Toilet flush cycle guy. So, this guy sat next to me on the bus on the way home from UVU one day. He was friendly enough. As we conversed, he asked me if I had seen the new science building. I told him that I had walked through it a couple of times. He asked if I had seen one of the bathrooms in there. I told him I hadn't, to which he responded, "Oh. They're pretty cool. They have 2 flush cycles. One for if you go number one, one for if, you know...you go number two." I think he realized half-way through that he was discussing the flushing cycles of a toilet with a girl he didn't really know on public transportation where everyone was listening to what he was saying.
5- The "I really wanted to watch you eat fried chicken" guy. So this guy in my ward was making it quite obvious that he was interested in me. He was on the same committee as me, which didn't help matters at all. The day I realized my suspicions were indeed true unfolded as follows: My ward was having break the fast, and the ward prayer committee was going to meet right after to plan ward prayer for later that evening. As we were throwing our garbage away, this guy started to pretend that the garbage can was cookie monster, and pushed the foot-pedal to make the lid open and close as he talked. I saw him look for my reaction. Then we went to our meeting and he laughed really hard at everything I said, whether it was funny or not.
A few days later, I guess he told a girl in my ward that he really wanted to go out with me, but that I wouldn't go out with him. (Need I add that he hadn't ever asked me out on a date?) Well, he got around to asking me on a date. I used every excuse I could think of: homework, finals, studying, cleaning checks, etc. but he wouldn't take no for an answer. So, it was decided that he would come help me clean for white gloves. We decided that he would come over at noon. I got home a little before noon and quickly ate a yogurt so I could say I had eaten if the subject arose. A little after 12:00, he called me and asked if I was home. I said I was, and he wanted to know why I hadn't called him when I got home. I told him that we were just planning on starting at noon, so I didn't feel the need to call. He then asked me if I had eaten, and I told him I had. He was disappointed because he was hoping to bring some lunch over from his work (KFC). I told him that I wasn't hungry. So he tried the guilt-trip approach next, with the whole "I guess I'm just going to have to eat all of it then..." Which was just fine with me. He wasn't very pleased, so he decided that he would bring it over to eat. I think he was hoping that by bringing the chicken over I would be tempted above what I was able, and I would succumb to his requests that I have lunch with him. He brought the chicken over and leaned against the counter top, letting his stomach rest comfortably on the top of the counter. He then noisily devoured his chicken, and placed the bones in with the rest of the uneaten chicken. If I ever was considering having a piece before then, I definitely wasn't considering it then. He decided to try one more time to get me to eat it saying, "I was really looking forward to watching you eat the chicken." Um...can you say creepy?
After that whole incident, we started cleaning. I was washing dishes and clearing out the sink, and he decided to clean the oven/stove which conveniently was directly across from the sink in a some-what narrow space. I'm pretty sure his intent was to get close to me, which wasn't okay, so I switched to wall-washing and let him finish the stove/oven. As we were cleaning, he found an empty make-up kit box, and asked if it was mine. I told him that it wasn't, and he said he didn't think it was because I didn't wear a lot of make-up. He said that that was one of the things he noticed about me at church. After that I started wearing more make-up to church.
Just when I thought our cleaning, and so our date, was coming to a close, he wanted to take me to get a Jamba Juice after which he said he would take me back home. A Jamba Juice did sound really nice--especially considering that it would be free--and I thought it was probably the quickest route to ending the date anyway, so I said yes. After we got our Jamba, instead of taking me home, he took me to the mall so we could "walk around while we had our Jamba." On our way to the mall, he told me that any time I wanted to go out to eat or if there was a nice restaurant I wanted to try, to just give him a call and he would be happy to take me. As we started walking around the mall, he explained to me how to win monopoly based on his own statistical evidence he had accumulated. (Since I play monopoly SO much....).
We left the mall, and I thought my freedom was finally in sight, but it was not to be. He then took me to the dollar theater where we played air hockey. He started to get a little flustered that I was winning at first, and told me that he wasn't going to go easy on me, because it was a big deal if I beat him. He said (to my horror) he would be able to tell everyone that I beat him at air hockey and he wasn't even going easy on me. Luckily, he won, so I didn't have to suffer such embarrassment.
The homeward stretch was finally coming into view as we left air hockey and he was finally taking me home. But I was not released until he had a sufficient amount of time to tell me of his plans for his future--wife, kids, better job--the works. Then he told me that he really wanted to take me on a date to KFC sometime where we could go back into the kitchen, because he worked there, and make some chicken sandwiches for ourselves. You know, I'm pretty open to new date ideas, but I have to draw the line somewhere, and it was definitely drawn there.
From start to finish the date was about 5 hours, which was more than enough to last me a lifetime. After a few weeks of not making eye contact at church, and ignoring texts and phone calls, I was left in peace.
Most of those occurred in the first year I was at school. Since then, the experiences I have had with boys are what you might classify as a little more "normal." Here's to hoping that normal they stay!
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Autotracities
"One who operates the vehicle should, in all logic, be smarter than the individual and or combined functions of the parts and mechanics of said vehicle." -- What Should Have been in the "Amy Car Manual" and wasn't
Seriously guys, I am the worst when it comes to cars. At one point I may or may not have had any clue where the battery was located. Yeah, it's that bad. And, apparently it shows too, because every time I go to Auto Zone the workers always help me and explain things very simply and slowly.
Many know about my topping off my oil incident that happened awhile back, but for those who don't, I'll re-cap. Being the dedicated car owner that I am, I figured I should probably check my transmission fluid and oil levels. (Sounds like a good and harmless thing to do, right?) So, I checked the levels and the oil seemed a little low, so I decided to buy some oil to top it off. I head to my local Walmart and proceed to the auto section. With little trouble I located the oil section. To my dismay, there were lots of oil options, and I had no idea what one I needed to get. So, I called my dad, and it turns out that I needed to look in my manual to figure out what kind of oil it needs. Who would have thought? I didn't want to go home empty handed, however, so I was hoping I could have a lucky guess. I guessed alright, but it certainly wasn't lucky. Another trip to Walmart and 15 minutes in the oil aisle later, I left with the right oil in tow. In those 15 minutes in the oil aisle, I may have called my dad and had a similar conversation to the following:
Me: "So, do I need to buy a funnel or anything to get the oil in my car?"
Dad: "No, you should be fine without one."
Me: "Are you sure? It seems like a really small hole to pour the oil in. I don't want to make a mess in my car."
Dad: "I don't think you need one. Just pour slowly."
A few days passed and my cousin, Laura, and I decide to check and top-off the fluid levels in our cars. We soon had both of our hoods up, talking amiably as we checked fluid levels. (It's possible that I accidentally pushed my horn while popping my hood and glared at Laura thinking that she was actually the culprit.) After checking the levels I decided that I did need to put more oil in my car. I noticed this big lid thing in my car that had an oil symbol on it. While I had been planning on pouring the oil down the tube that the dipstick went in, I started to reconsider. It certainly would be much easier to pour it in there instead of down the tube--and I definitely wouldn't need a funnel. Things suddenly were becoming more clear. Just to make sure I wasn't about to pour oil in my engine or something, I called Dad to make sure it was safe. I explained that I had thought that I had to pour the oil down the tube, so that's why I thought I needed a funnel. I appreciated that he only laughed a little bit at my ignorance. While talking on the phone, I was kind of waving the dipstick around --in lieu of the hand movements I normally make while talking--and the hood of my car was still up. Some guy in a pick-up came to see if I needed help. Apparently my ignorance shows even at a distance.
Since then, I've done pretty well. Until today, that is. If my hair wasn't blonde already, I would probably be going to the store to get some dye. On Sunday, I was going to a game night, and as I started to drive my car, I noticed that there was this bright blue light on my dashboard that I've never seen before. I concluded that it must be my brights, and thought it was weird that the light was suddenly showing, because I did the same thing that I always did. I started to wonder if I always drove with my brights on, and the light had just never worked. Then, I remembered that I went to get my oil changed on Tuesday and this was the first time I had driven in the dark since then. It was like a mini light bulb went off. They must have bumped some wire or something and the light on my dashboard was finally working again. So, I turned my lights down one setting and started driving. My lights seemed really dim, but the streets were well-lit so it was kind of hard to tell for sure. After driving back home though, I was pretty sure both of my headlights were out. When it rains, it pours. I definitely needed to replace both of my headlights.
A couple days later, I came home to do safety and emissions and all that fun stuff for my car, so my mom and I thought that we should figure out all of the lights that needed to be replaced and get that done before taking my car in. So we tested all of them, and came to the conclusion that I definitely needed to replace the headlights. I can't even tell you how many times I switched my lights from their highest setting to their lowest. On their lowest, they barely did anything at all.
After grabbing some new headlights, we put one of the new ones in, and tested it...and the result was the same. The brights worked great, but there was next to nothing on the other setting. It was an electrical problem. That could be the only explanation for why the lights still weren't working, and why both of them went out at the same time. My mom came to try one more time, and she pushed the turn-signal-stick-thing, and it was like magic. All of the sudden, my brights were off and my headlights were working magnificently. Who knew that you controlled the brights with the turn-signal-stick-thing? Seriously these car designers could be a little more logical.
It turns out that the whole time I was testing my lights I was switching from what I was thinking of as the high setting (which is normal headlights), to what I was thinking of as the low setting (which is the parking lights). The turn-signal-stick-thing had just been pushed to the "bright" setting, so that's why my brights were the only thing working.
A few tears of embarrassment and hours later, the situation is starting to seem funny. Although, it has done nothing to make me feel more competent with cars--or anything mechanical for that matter.
On the bright side though--sorry, couldn't resist a little pun there--I should have some good headlights for some years to come. And, I have the old set as back-up in case of emergencies. And, I did learn how to change a headlight.
This brings my autotracities up to date, but stay tuned, for I'm sure this is just the beginning chapter in a lengthy novel. Let's just hope it's not a series!!
Seriously guys, I am the worst when it comes to cars. At one point I may or may not have had any clue where the battery was located. Yeah, it's that bad. And, apparently it shows too, because every time I go to Auto Zone the workers always help me and explain things very simply and slowly.
Many know about my topping off my oil incident that happened awhile back, but for those who don't, I'll re-cap. Being the dedicated car owner that I am, I figured I should probably check my transmission fluid and oil levels. (Sounds like a good and harmless thing to do, right?) So, I checked the levels and the oil seemed a little low, so I decided to buy some oil to top it off. I head to my local Walmart and proceed to the auto section. With little trouble I located the oil section. To my dismay, there were lots of oil options, and I had no idea what one I needed to get. So, I called my dad, and it turns out that I needed to look in my manual to figure out what kind of oil it needs. Who would have thought? I didn't want to go home empty handed, however, so I was hoping I could have a lucky guess. I guessed alright, but it certainly wasn't lucky. Another trip to Walmart and 15 minutes in the oil aisle later, I left with the right oil in tow. In those 15 minutes in the oil aisle, I may have called my dad and had a similar conversation to the following:
Me: "So, do I need to buy a funnel or anything to get the oil in my car?"
Dad: "No, you should be fine without one."
Me: "Are you sure? It seems like a really small hole to pour the oil in. I don't want to make a mess in my car."
Dad: "I don't think you need one. Just pour slowly."
A few days passed and my cousin, Laura, and I decide to check and top-off the fluid levels in our cars. We soon had both of our hoods up, talking amiably as we checked fluid levels. (It's possible that I accidentally pushed my horn while popping my hood and glared at Laura thinking that she was actually the culprit.) After checking the levels I decided that I did need to put more oil in my car. I noticed this big lid thing in my car that had an oil symbol on it. While I had been planning on pouring the oil down the tube that the dipstick went in, I started to reconsider. It certainly would be much easier to pour it in there instead of down the tube--and I definitely wouldn't need a funnel. Things suddenly were becoming more clear. Just to make sure I wasn't about to pour oil in my engine or something, I called Dad to make sure it was safe. I explained that I had thought that I had to pour the oil down the tube, so that's why I thought I needed a funnel. I appreciated that he only laughed a little bit at my ignorance. While talking on the phone, I was kind of waving the dipstick around --in lieu of the hand movements I normally make while talking--and the hood of my car was still up. Some guy in a pick-up came to see if I needed help. Apparently my ignorance shows even at a distance.
Since then, I've done pretty well. Until today, that is. If my hair wasn't blonde already, I would probably be going to the store to get some dye. On Sunday, I was going to a game night, and as I started to drive my car, I noticed that there was this bright blue light on my dashboard that I've never seen before. I concluded that it must be my brights, and thought it was weird that the light was suddenly showing, because I did the same thing that I always did. I started to wonder if I always drove with my brights on, and the light had just never worked. Then, I remembered that I went to get my oil changed on Tuesday and this was the first time I had driven in the dark since then. It was like a mini light bulb went off. They must have bumped some wire or something and the light on my dashboard was finally working again. So, I turned my lights down one setting and started driving. My lights seemed really dim, but the streets were well-lit so it was kind of hard to tell for sure. After driving back home though, I was pretty sure both of my headlights were out. When it rains, it pours. I definitely needed to replace both of my headlights.
A couple days later, I came home to do safety and emissions and all that fun stuff for my car, so my mom and I thought that we should figure out all of the lights that needed to be replaced and get that done before taking my car in. So we tested all of them, and came to the conclusion that I definitely needed to replace the headlights. I can't even tell you how many times I switched my lights from their highest setting to their lowest. On their lowest, they barely did anything at all.
After grabbing some new headlights, we put one of the new ones in, and tested it...and the result was the same. The brights worked great, but there was next to nothing on the other setting. It was an electrical problem. That could be the only explanation for why the lights still weren't working, and why both of them went out at the same time. My mom came to try one more time, and she pushed the turn-signal-stick-thing, and it was like magic. All of the sudden, my brights were off and my headlights were working magnificently. Who knew that you controlled the brights with the turn-signal-stick-thing? Seriously these car designers could be a little more logical.
It turns out that the whole time I was testing my lights I was switching from what I was thinking of as the high setting (which is normal headlights), to what I was thinking of as the low setting (which is the parking lights). The turn-signal-stick-thing had just been pushed to the "bright" setting, so that's why my brights were the only thing working.
A few tears of embarrassment and hours later, the situation is starting to seem funny. Although, it has done nothing to make me feel more competent with cars--or anything mechanical for that matter.
On the bright side though--sorry, couldn't resist a little pun there--I should have some good headlights for some years to come. And, I have the old set as back-up in case of emergencies. And, I did learn how to change a headlight.
This brings my autotracities up to date, but stay tuned, for I'm sure this is just the beginning chapter in a lengthy novel. Let's just hope it's not a series!!
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